Moving to another country is, without a doubt, one of the greatest adventures anyone can embark on. It's an invitation to expansion, self-discovery, the exploration of new cultures, and new versions of oneself.

However, behind the initial sparkle and excitement, there is a complex journey of adaptation that is not always linear or easy. Many expatriates, even the most prepared, encounter unexpected challenges that can shake the experience and, in some cases, lead to an adaptation crisis.

As a psychologist who closely follows the journey of countless people who have chosen to live outside their country of origin, I notice that some patterns repeat. There are common mistakes, often unconscious, that can significantly hinder the emotional adaptation process and turn the dream into a source of stress and frustration. But the good news is that by recognizing them, we can learn to avoid them and build a smoother, more rewarding transition.

Mistake 1: Constantly comparing the new country with your home country

It's natural to miss home, the food, the customs, the people. However, one of the biggest saboteurs of adaptation is the tendency to incessantly compare the new environment with what was left behind. "It was better there," "They don't have that here," "In my country it was different." These phrases, repeated ad nauseam, create an invisible barrier that prevents you from opening up to new experiences and appreciating what the new place has to offer.

This constant comparison generates a vicious cycle of nostalgia and dissatisfaction. Instead of focusing on the qualities and opportunities of the present, the mind remains stuck in an idealized past, making it impossible to build a happy future in the new context. The emotional impact is profound: frustration, resentment, and a persistent feeling that something is missing, even when everything seems to be going well.

How to avoid: Start practicing gratitude for what the new country offers. Instead of comparing, observe the differences with curiosity and try to understand the "why" behind them. Every culture has its peculiarities, its strengths and weaknesses. Accepting that the new is neither better nor worse, just different, is the first step towards healthy emotional adaptation. Challenge yourself to find beauty and functionality in new ways of doing things. Allow yourself to live in the present, without the constant shadow of the past.

Mistake 2: Isolating yourself and not seeking new connections

Loneliness in a new country is a common feeling, but isolating yourself is a mistake that can significantly worsen the adaptation crisis. Many expatriates, due to shyness, language difficulties, or simply being overwhelmed with bureaucracy and new routines, end up closing themselves off in their own world. They spend days without interacting with anyone beyond their closest circle (if any), or limit themselves to superficial interactions at work or in strictly necessary environments.

This lack of social connection is fertile ground for anxiety, depression, and a sense of not belonging. Humans are social beings by nature, and the absence of meaningful bonds directly affects our mental health. Without a support network, even a small one at first, the challenges of adaptation become even heavier, and the feeling of being alone in the world can be overwhelming.

How to avoid: Proactivity is your greatest ally here. Start small: participate in interest groups (hobbies, sports, book clubs), language classes, volunteering, or local events. Use technology to your advantage to find expatriate communities or groups with common interests.

Be open to invitations and, more importantly, extend invitations. A coffee, a walk in the park, a dinner – every small interaction is a step towards building your new network. Remember that the quality of connections is more important than the quantity, and that building friendships takes time and effort, but it is a valuable investment in your well-being.

Mistake 3: Ignoring culture shock and its phases

Culture shock is a reality for most expatriates, but many ignore or minimize it, believing that initial excitement will be enough to overcome any strangeness. Culture shock is not a single event, but a process that manifests in phases, each with its emotional peculiarities.

The "honeymoon" phase is marked by euphoria and enchantment with the new. Then comes the "crisis" or "frustration" phase, where cultural differences begin to weigh heavily, and feelings of irritation, confusion, and even anger can arise. Afterwards, the "adjustment" or "recovery" phase, where one begins to understand and accept the differences, and finally, the "adaptation" or "mastery" phase, where the individual feels comfortable and functional in the new environment.

Ignoring these phases, especially the frustration phase, can lead to an accumulation of stress and a feeling that something is wrong with you, when in fact it is a normal reaction to the adaptation process. Many blame themselves for not being "happy all the time" or for feeling homesick, which only worsens the emotional impact.

How to avoid: Inform yourself about culture shock and its phases. Understanding that it is a normal process and that negative feelings are part of it can relieve pressure and self-blame. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise, without judgment.

Seek information about the local culture, not just the obvious aspects, but also the social nuances and implicit values. Talk to other expatriates who have been through this; sharing experiences can be a great relief and source of strategies. Remember that culture shock is an opportunity for growth and the development of resilience, but it requires patience and self-compassion.

Mistake 4: Neglecting mental and emotional health

Life abroad, with all its novelties and challenges, can be extremely draining for mental and emotional health. The pressure to adapt, homesickness, difficulty establishing new routines, and the absence of a family and friends support network can lead to anxiety, chronic stress, insomnia, and even depression.

A common mistake is to neglect these signs, believing they are "fuss" or that "it will pass."

This neglect can have serious consequences. Mental health is as important as physical health, and ignoring the signs that something is wrong is like ignoring a high fever. Many expatriates feel guilty or ashamed for not "enjoying" the experience to the fullest, which prevents them from seeking professional help. The idea that "I should be happy to be here" can be a heavy burden, leading to isolation and worsening symptoms.

How to avoid: Prioritize your mental and emotional health. Be aware of signs of stress, anxiety, or persistent sadness. Do not hesitate to seek professional support, whether an online psychologist who understands the reality of expatriates, or a therapist in the new country.

Taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. In addition, incorporate healthy habits into your routine: physical exercise, balanced diet, quality sleep, and leisure time. Find activities that bring you pleasure and serve as stress relievers. Remember that you don't have to be strong all the time, and asking for help is an act of courage and self-care.

Mistake 5: Having unrealistic expectations

The last common mistake, but no less important, is embarking on the expatriation journey with unrealistic expectations. Whether it's idealizing the new country as a problem-free paradise, believing that adaptation will be instant and smooth, or fantasizing that all the problems of the old life will magically disappear upon crossing the border. These high expectations, when confronted with reality, can generate deep disappointment and frustration.

Life abroad, like any life, has its ups and downs. There will be good days and bad days. There will be moments of joy and moments of homesickness. Adaptation is a gradual process, with advances and setbacks, not a straight upward line. Thinking that everything will be perfect or that you will feel "at home" overnight is a recipe for disillusionment. Furthermore, taking unresolved problems from your home country to the new country is a mistake, as they tend to manifest in new ways, or even intensify, in an unfamiliar environment.

How to avoid: Prepare for reality, not fantasy. Research the new country thoroughly, not just the tourist attractions, but also the daily challenges, cost of living, healthcare system, and cultural nuances. Talk to other expatriates who already live there to get a more realistic view. Be open to flexibility and resilience.

Understand that adaptation is a continuous journey, and that every challenge is an opportunity for learning and growth. Accept that not everything will be perfect and that it's okay to have difficult days. The important thing is how you deal with these moments and what you learn from them. And, if there are pending personal or emotional issues, consider resolving them before the move, or seek support to deal with them during the transition.

A Call to Conscious Adaptation

If you identified with any of these mistakes, or if your adaptation journey has been more challenging than expected, know that you are not alone. Many expatriates face similar difficulties, and seeking support is a sign of strength and emotional intelligence.

As a psychologist specializing in expatriate adaptation and well-being, I am here to offer you a safe and welcoming space to explore these feelings, develop effective strategies, and build the resilience needed to thrive in your new home.

Don't let the challenges of adaptation steal the shine from your experience abroad. Invest in yourself, in your emotional health, and allow yourself to live this adventure more lightly and consciously. Contact me to schedule a session and let's walk this path of adaptation and growth together. Your new life awaits you, with all its possibilities.